Letterman is a rerun tonight, but I’m staying up just to see Drew Rosenhaus make a fool of himself again because it was so fun to watch the first time it aired this summer …
Drew Rosenhaus is a creep.
Letterman starts the interview the same way he sits down with every other guest…But it gets good when he starts asking Drew about his motivation, to which he responds by saying football is a brutal sport and he’s going to do everything within his power to get as much for his players. “It’s a passion, you gotta go and get it. They risk their lives out there.”
Blah, blah, blah. Wha, wha wha.
I’ve risked my life a few times at work -- speeding through traffic to the big story, standing in the middle of a street where shots were fired minutes earlier and could be fired again, walking through a still-smoldering and fragile apartment building minutes after firefighters finished putting out the fire that gutted it…. It’d be nice if I had an agent who could negotiate even a $10,000 a year contract to help me pay off my mortgage, landscape my yard, buy a new car for my wife, pay off college loans, buy an iPod.
Letterman continues the interview by asking Drew: “What would happen if a guy like you represented teachers of America or nurses of America?”
(Dave, you’re awesome)
“I just want to get what’s fair for my client,” Drew says.
(I just want an iPod … and to pay off my mortgage.)
Letterman continues: “The ticket prices are only going to go up if Larry gets the $4 billion contract ...in any way don’t people like you have a responsibility not to push this as hard as you do for the sake of the game and the fans …people are working very hard to make a paying fraction of what these guys make on a Sunday afternoon.”
(That’s right, Dave. Shove it to him. Stand up for the common man)
Drew answers: “You really don’t see me or anyone pushing contracts … if a player is making a fair income it’s not an issue …if I feel a player’s not making as much as he should, I take exception to that. …” Drew adds that he and Terrell Owens were equal in determining T.O. was not making enough money and says, “He makes about $10 million over the first two years of his contract and he’s not even among top 10 paid players.”
(Drew, Drew, Drew …you’re such a fool. Oh, to think how many iPods I could buy with $10 million dollars -- and still pay off my mortgage.)
Dave: “Yes, but at the end of the day, you cut to the chase, it’s just guys playing a game.”
(Amen, Dave! Suck it, Drew)
Drew: “It is a game, but it’s their life.”
(Yeah. Working hard from 8:30 to 5 in a small cubicle everyday to chase down newspaper stories, and then coming home and cleaning, taking care of our house and being a good, loving husband is my life. Now give me my $10,000 contract. Seriously, $10,000. That’s all I’m asking for…And an iPod.)
Dave: “Are you old enough to remember when baseball players played 162 game a year … and in the offseason they’d sell insurance and have beer distributorships. What’s wrong with that?”
Drew: “All I’m asking is for the players to get their fair share.”
If only the world was fair.
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